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    « In which my son will not eat his dinner | Main | Three's Company »

    Wednesday, April 17, 2013

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    Melissa

    "Parenting is hard for me. I feel like maybe it comes easy to some people but for me? "

    YES. I just breathed a sigh of relief that it's not just me. It's just hard to do. I will say that mine are 5 and 10 now and it's getting easier. Well, I don't panic as much about losing/injuries..now I panic about..other things. I'm just not as good at this as I thought I'd be. Your wonderful friends and neighbors are right..it happens.

    kakaty

    My daughter did that too me once and I found her just as I was dialing 911. It was terrifying and she quickly learned that hiding was not tolerated any more. I couldn't take it. Now, my breath catches if it takes me too long find them at the playground.

    Here's my story: when I was 5 or 6 my BFF lived about 5 houses down. She and I would spend hours on end at each others houses and were free to walk back and forth whenever we wanted (as long as we told our mom we were going). One day I went over, we started playing hide and seek outside and when it was my turn to hide I thought it would be a grand idea to go inside to hide. I crawled under her bed and promptly fell asleep. My mom called for me to come home and Mrs. Smith, not knowing that I had even come over about 30 minutes before, said "Katie isn't here". My mom flipped out, started tearing through the neighborhood looking for me (our backyards backed up to a wooded area, so I could have been anywhere). When questioned my friend said "we were playing hide and seek but I couldn't find her!". Four families were combing the woods and streets, looking for me for about 40 minutes before I woke up and came outside, wondering why everyone was shouting my name.

    I'l never forget my mom's face. Or how much trouble I got into.

    larmar

    I used to hide in the mall in the clothing racks, and would not come out when called. My mom would have to get down on her knees and look for little feet. I hid once down the street and when my mom found me, she walked/dragged me home holding me up by one arm and walloping my backside with the other. That was the last time I hid. I also used to jump out my window at night and run across the street and jump into my friends window. If karma leads how your children turn out, I'm screwed.

    I can't imagine (or maybe I can) how terrifying that would have been, especially for 20 minutes. I am sure past minute 3 or 4, every minute felt like hours. I would have reacted the same way. I have woken up from DREAMS about losing the kids in a full sweat and sobbing. Thank you for sharing the story though. I hope your heart has recovered. :/

    Fi

    one day at a time! one baby step at a time!
    I love you friend, you are doing good!
    :)

    HereWeGoAJen

    Oh, this was terrifying even to READ. I have this fear too and when Elizabeth learned to open locks, I put chain locks on all my outside doors that she cannot reach. (And got all sorts of crap for it on my blog. Losers.) I now freak out about her not being able to get out in some kind of emergency, but I had to pick. I am so glad this ended the way it did. Seriously, my heart is still pounding.

    Also, I don't think you are a terrible mother at all. Just the opposite. Look at everything you did to find your kids when you thought they were gone.

    Let's just get GPS chips imbedded in our kids.

    Jesabes

    Oh, Manda, I was crying just reading this. How terrifying. (And kakaty, YIKES. That must have aged your mom DECADES.)

    I feel like waking my children in their beds right now and making them swear they will not do this to me.

    Elizabeth

    Oh my lord Manda! How terrifying. I have had little tastes of this, and once with my sister when we did have to find the cops (and they found her downtown in Ann Taylor!!!) but I just can;t imagine how terrifying. Hugs and love to you. I totally relate to the feeling of not having parenting come naturally to you. I feel like I am the worst at my most important job. It sucks.
    However, I can just tell that you're a great mom. I have my doubts about myself but I have no doubts about you.

    Michelle

    My heart was racing just reading this--I cannot even imagine living through it. My son has walked away from me in a store and been on the other side of me and I felt like my heart stopped for a long time.

    I hope they never scare you like that again!

    Jean

    Oh yes, this has happened to many many people. I think one of the scariest I've heard was when Julia's (here be hippogriffs) daughter climbed onto their roof at night when she was 3/4. Crazy scary.

    My cousin lost her young son in her own house. Called the police, had the whole neighborhood searching, and finally the police discovered him sleeping in a laundry pile in their basement.

    My mother-in-law loves telling the story of how my husband at the age of 4 would walk right out of their house in the morning before she woke up, and knock on doors asking for donuts. Of course the nice neighbor ladies would bring him home again.

    My own experience is a little different, but something to remember for your future. My daughter was in kindegarten. Had never rode the bus once. I picked her up every single day. The first time I let someone else pick her up, it was my father-in-law, he called me from school saying she wasn't there. I didn't immediately worry until he says all the staff had already checked the whole school. So I panic and start loading my two babies at home into my car when I see her walking towards me with her friend. She decided to ride the bus! We had never even talked about it and she was so proud and couldn't figure out why I was freaking out. Another time, about a year later, she got off the bus on the stop before hers. Her friends older brother told her it would be fun. Again I couldn't find her. We've also had times when she doesn't get off the bus and she's waiting for us at school instead. Needless to say this has led to many, many conversations that I really didn't want to have. Thinking back on all of this makes me wonder why I still let her ride the bus! ha ha!

    They take years off our life but add life to our years, right? I just can't wait to tell her these stories when she's older.

    Michelle

    Oh Manda. Hugs to you. I can't even imagine. I did this to my parents once. I was mad at my mom for not letting me wear the shoes I wanted, hid in the front closet and fell asleep. I don't know how long it took to find me but I remember my mom was in tears.

    Jen

    In tears reading this. Holy crap. I'm so sorry it happened but SO GLAD it will just be a Story when they're grown up. xoxo and no matter what: you are a GREAT mom. Never doubt it!

    Hillary

    When we were in Boston last week, a couple days before the race, we went to the Children's Museum. It's three-stories and awesome. It also was way crowded on a Saturday. We had been there for a bit and were on the second floor. Mike had R and I had W in a different room. I stopped for just a second to read a display and when I turned around, Beastie was gone. Just gone. I called for him and frantically asked people around me and went through the surrounding rooms and circled back to the original room. Mike and the boys -- Beastie had found them! -- found me before I could think to do anything actually productive.

    Between that and the bombing -- the boys both had emergency info on them when we went into the airport to go home. I've never done that before and Mike teased me for being over-protective, but, as you put it, I have woken up.

    Jenna

    Oh yes, I've felt that terror, when I've been positive that something horrible must have happened because my kid just disappeared. It doesn't matter if its seconds or minutes but it feels like years.

    So glad your kids are safe and sound. Here's hoping that nightmare is never repeated.

    Rachel

    yup. been there. daughter hid from Juan & I in a carpet store. i was on the phone with 911 when i spotted her tiny little eyes peaking out at me. this was only AFTER we had searched everywhere, blocked the entrances and called/threatened her to come out!! =) but it is an awakening, a rude but needed one!!

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