Darker still

Yesterday even though I thought that the nurse was calling I couldn't stand the thought of the latent pregnancy test in the medicine cabinet. So I took it and the second line was darker. What a relief.

And then? The day drained away and the nurse never called.

I've scrolled back through the conversation I had with her when I made the appointment so many times today. She said "maybe we'll get the results back by Friday." She never said she would call me. And maybe the blood test results didn't come through yet (wouldn't surprise me, Mr. Phlebotomist was a bit unprofessional, after all). Maybe she was just planning on calling me when there was a comparison to make between the two blood tests? I'm sure it's not a big deal.

But I'm out of pregnancy tests.

So it seems like a big deal.

The good news is that today I was nauseated. I was at a friend's house for a meeting and dinner was provided. I was feeling gross and was hoping that a little food would settle my stomach. I was happy to see a fresh green salad on the table ... just the thing! Unfortunately it had some sort of curry dressing on it (the last thing I ate before getting violently ill with the stomach flu three weeks ago was curry rice *owie*).  Unfortunately I didn't realize this until AFTER I took a huge bite of it. Dude, things went on high alert after that. Luckily there was also sushi on that table and with the sushi? Pickled ginger. I ate a huge packet of that and felt a lot better. On my way home I stopped at Trader's and got a container of ginger snaps and I was in good form by the time I got home except for feeling full and gross. That along with being ridiculously tired all this week is a little reassuring.

I still don't want to get my hopes up. Last time I was pregnant I was tired and getting carsick the two weeks leading up to the miscarriage. Normal pregnancy stuff.

I wish there was some good news, something that could take the edge off the anxiety. But this is the course we chart when we impart on this kind of crazy journey. This is the price some of us pay for babies.

It's worth it.

Comments

[Morgan S.]

If you are feeling sick enough to eat pickled ginger, you MUST be pregnant.

[A'Dell]

Manda, it IS a big deal - to you! I would have called, several times if necessary, to get an ETA on the results. Waiting over the weekend is a lot of stress for you. IF you don't call them on their unprofessional or unreliable staff, who will? Tell your doc you're not happy with the level of care you received during a critical time period that is very important to you.

Who cares what else they have going on at the practice? You should always be made to feel like you are a top priority.

You're the patient in charge - if you wanted to results on Friday, just say so. You'd be amazed at what can happen when you ask. Staff will always automatically DE-prioritize you since you're not actively bleeding out.

This is the pessimist in me coming out, but I have learned the hard way that unless you demand excellent care and advocate for yourself 24/7, there will always be someone bitchier and louder in line in front of you.

Also, a beta takes only a few hours if they have an in-house lab (one of the benefits of an RE). Even if they send it out, they *can* request a rush on results reporting.

Augh! Serious feelings about health care and being an advocate! I HAVE THEM. Sorry I unloaded in your comments section!

But! All that said! Darker lines are good - yay! Hopefully Monday brings extra awesome news.