Not so bad news (?)

I called the office back right at 1:30 (and if I'm honest, I also called at 1:14, 1:23, and 1:28). The receptionist told me "she's in a meeting" and then asked for my name and put me on hold... a few seconds later Nurse B was on the line. I can't remember how she began the conversation but she dove right in with my results. My HCG/Beta was HIGH, like extremely high at 1,359. Nurse B said that was very, very good as they were expecting the numbers to be in the 200-300 range (your Beta doubles every day you're pregnant. A week ago my level was at 26. And no, I'm not going to do the math on that right now).

The bad news was that my progesterone level had dropped from 15ish to 10. However, according to Nurse B on behalf of Dr. G, this is something that can be fixed via vaginal progesterone supplements. She called in the prescription right away, called me back and gave me the details. I have to take one supplement in the morning, lie back down for 10 minutes and then another at night when I go to bed. She was very POSITIVE on the phone and said that Dr. G was really not concerned: with progesterone supplements up until I'm 12 weeks, this baby has an excellent chance of making it. She encouraged me to not stress out too much (ha) and told me that a majority of patients who get this particular type of treatment go on to successful pregnancies.

My husband immediately had concerns. We both did an over-consultation of Dr. Google in the time we had while we were waiting for lunch break to be over. He was worried about the side effects ... he read on one site that progesterone causes depression and anxiety and sleeplessness. Thankfully he was the one to have to go to pick up the prescription (I had already agreed to watch a friend's kid this afternoon) so he could ask questions to his heart's content. The pharmacist assured him that the side effects for the suppository would be very low, if existent. She explained to him that the bad side effects associated with progesterone therapy is associated with the cream and the shots. He was relieved when he got home. I was glad. I am not the type to really question what the doctor says (often). I was so exhausted I was glad that there was some sort of plan of action, some sort of hope to be had.

My head is pretty messed up right now. I feel so ... neutral about the whole thing. It's kinda scary how not hopeful or hopeless I feel at the same time. When I got the message earlier I just assumed I was losing the baby. I still feel like there's a really good chance that I will. I straight up asked Nurse B the tough questions: Was it possible that by using progesterone that I'm just prolonging the inevitable? She said,"yes, there's that possibility. But your Beta! It's so high! It's a really, really good sign!" I asked if I could still miscarry and she said "yes, of course that's a possibility in any situation. But this will significantly boost the odds in your favor. If your Beta was low then we wouldn't even be bothering with this."  And she also told me that maybe this has been my problem all along, but no one ever caught it until now. She said she had her fingers crossed for me and scheduled me for another blood test next week to see how things are going.

I take my first dose tonight. The ginormous pills are in the fridge. I am wondering how I am going to hide this from my mother, who is rolling into town for a 3-day visit on Sunday. I am wondering how long I can keep the prescription bottle in the fridge out of the way of prying eyes. I can't even stomach the thought of making the announcement any time soon. I hate being back on this damn stupid rollercoaster.

I wonder how much mini fridges cost.

Comments

[Shelby]

Just finished reading through your posts of the last month or so. What a roller coaster. Oh Manda, I'm hoping and praying so hard for you!

[Kristi]

Prayers for your road ahead. My good friend did the proj suppositories for 12 weeks and now has a healthy, happy 2 year old.

[Chickenpig]

I've been on the shots and the suppositories at the same time for both of my successful IVF pregnancies. My first ended in a miscarriage, and low progesterone was blamed, even though I was getting injections in my butt every night.

Keeping the suppositories refrigerated isn't necessary. I kept mine in the bathroom in the cabinet and they survived just fine. Unless you keep your bathroom at a balmy 90 degrees they should be just fine in there away from prying eyes. :) Also, I had a very scary bleeding episode w my twins at around 10 weeks. My OB blamed the suppositories for irritating my cervix since they couldn't see the source of the bleeding. Just to warn you in advance that that happens to some women, and not to panic if it does. Best of luck for a healthy, uncomplicated pregnancy :)

[LuckyOnce]

Here from LFCA

Congratulations on the awesome Beta. I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents on the Progesterone suppositories. I am currently 18 weeks pregnant following 3 miscarriages. I took progesterone suppositories for the first 12 weeks with this pregnancy, and while everyone is different, I didn't have any of the side effects that you're worried about. (Well, as someone who's already experienced miscarriage, how would you even differentiate between the anxiety, depression, and sleeplessness that you'd be experiencing anyway??)

Best of luck for continued good news on this pregnancy.

[Rachel]

I am happy for good news! I've been praying since I read your post yesterday.

Hide the bottle inside something your mom won't look.

[A'Dell]

This is so NOT BAD.

The side effects J found are more for PIO shots - the BIG ONES in your butt that hurt. The vaginal suppositories are so tame - all I felt was super, super tired.

That is am AWESOME beta! Really, AWESOME! Progesterone is just one indicator of a healthy pregnancy, and anyone can lose a baby at any time so that's the only reason the nurse owned up to that. (But GOOD to be TOUGH with her!)

I didn't have to do any lie down bizness, but mine were tablets and not liquid If you're going to be on this crap for 12 weeks, I suggest asking for the tabs.

I feel good about this. Really good. I think the Progesterone can't hurt, can only help, and you're doing everything within your power at the moment.

It's a big roller coaster, but you're already through the hardest parts - getting pregnant and STAYING that way past the day your period is due. The early days are the hardest. Baby gets stronger by the hour.

I have good feelings Manda....I think this baby is going to stick.

[Maggie]

I'm so glad you updated. All appendages crossed, candles lit. Thinking of you.

[Morgan S.]

Mini-fridges are cheap. Go for it.

Manda, while this is frustrating and SCARY, OMG, it is also progress.

I am cheering you on and thinking of you. I completely understand your neutrality. After my miscarriage, I was almost clinically cold toward Brooke's early gestation.

Take them pills, rub your tummy and get a good night's sleep. Sydney will be waiting for you tomorrow morning!