No rest for the weary

The doctor's office just called. Nurse B told me that my blood tests from last week showed low progesterone levels again: 15.5. They want me to increase my suppository dose to three times a day and go in for another blood test on Monday. She was much less positive during this phone call. When I asked her what could cause this to happen she said it could just be a fluctuation ... but it could also mean that the pregnancy isn't going any further.

Depending on my blood test results on Tuesday, we'll find out when and if there will be another ultrasound before our next scheduled appointment. She gave me the impression that if my levels jump back up he would wait to see me. I'm probably getting ahead of myself. When I called my husband to break the news he reminded me that it's not over yet, that we still have a chance. He wasn't even on the phone with me and Nurse B but he was reviewing her words to me like he was there. I'm so glad I have him to comfort me. Stuff like this just totally threatens to put me over the edge.

After our amazing appointment last week I was starting to "trust" this pregnancy a little bit. I've been feeling horrible (my post yesterday was terribly whiny) and have been taking that as a good sign and a reminder that I'm still pregnant. But now I'm just thrust back into the old fear that the symptoms I'm experiencing are just a side effect of the drugs and have nothing to do with this baby's growth or health.

My pregnancy calculator puts me at 8 weeks, 5 days today. Just for posterity's sake.

Comments

[ANNIE]

Praying Manda. Praying hard. xo

[Rachel]

In my prayers!

[Alexicographer]

Here from LFCA.

I'm confused. I have always been told that the effect of progesterone suppositories is local but does not show up in bloodwork. As I understand it, you really can't read anything into the b/w numbers if you're using suppositories. Are you also taking oral or injectable progesterone? Because if not, I'm just not at all sure those b/w #s mean anything at all.

[Elizabeth]

I HATE it when the doctor's office or the nurses aren't encouraging. It is so emotionally devastating when someone who seems to be in a position of knowledge or authority gives you a dubious reaction. And at the same time you are trying to get through the stress and the worry, you feel sick as a dog, so your defenses are down. It just SUCKS.
I am thinking about how though and hoping for the absolute best. And you know what? If you want to be whiny, you go for it. Lord knows I won't judge you there. Just because you want this so much doesn't mean you can't complain when it is hard.

[Maggie]

Hey Manda. I haven't been up on my blog reading, so I just read this. I AM THINKING OF YOOOOOOOOOOOOU.

[Shelby]

We just keep praying . . .

[She Likes Purple]

Thinking of you, Manda.